Aging

Now that I am aging ... at least not that fast. Well, yes, I probably am, but I don't feel old. I have to admit that I am beginning to feel more free in my actions and about not caring what other people think. The ironic thing about freedom in aging is that you are free for a little while, but then you lose your freedom when you get to the point that you can't care for yourself anymore and then have to have someone to help you.

At any rate, I love the following story about aging. My cousin (who is in her 60's) sent it to me. I love its theme and the freedom of it all. I'm 55, but I've learned alot along the way. I just don't care that much what people think anymore. I do to a point, but then after that it's just not worth worrying about. Now, I know why so many older folks are cranky. They have put up with alot of stuff all of their lives and now they have decided they are not going to do it anymore.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.


I am CLOSE to being, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks a little like my mother!) but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends or family or my comfortable, memory-filled life for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I age, I'm becoming more kind to myself and less critical of myself. I'm becoming my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie or for not making my bed or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avant-garde on my patio. (I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.)

I have already seen too many people leave this world too soon before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM (and sleep until noon IF I ever do)?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's, 60 & 70's, and if I wish to weep over a lost love ...

...I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will age.

I know I will sometimes be forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.. And I will remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one or when a child suffers or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.

A heart never broken is so pristine and sterile that it will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have already lived long enough to have my hair turning gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think.

I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong...(if I ever am... )!

So, to answer your question, I like getting old. It's setting me free. I like the person I am becoming. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been or worrying about what will be.

And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)