Friday, July 20, 2007

Feather and Fan Scarf

I found a really pretty scarf pattern last week. It's called the Feather and Fan Scarf. I'm using Caron Simply Soft yarn for mine and size 8 knitting needles. I love the white and blue together, but I think my next one will be a solid color because I hate weaving in all those ends from changing colors. I can't believe how elegant this scarf looks when the pattern is so easy. It looks like really laborious work, but it's not. It's only 4 rows that are repeated until the scarf is a long as you want or you run out of yarn.

Knitting on this scarf has really helped to take my mind off of things. I had my annual doctor's appointment last week with my cardiologist. My blood pressure was up and I was really frustrated with myself because I have not been watching my diet like I should. I tend to use food as a comfort thing or a way to deal with stressful things. The doctor told me not to eat anything with added salt, that means no pretzels, potato chips, and he named off a whole list of things that I can't even remember because he rattled them off so fast. I thought that just because I had been going to Jazzercise and not cooking with salt and not adding extra salt at the table that I was watching my sodium intake. I thought that some of the things I was eating were ok to eat, but I guess I was wrong. Or maybe I had just never thought about the sodium content in the foods I was eating. Sodium is in everything. And lots of it. In fat free foods they add extra sodium to replace the flavor that was taken out with the fat. In some cases one dinner has about half the sodium you should have all day. So that means no more Lean Cuisines for me or any other low fat dinners like that for lunch. In some ways I think it's harder to eat a low sodium diet than it is to give up sugar. Sugar is pretty straightforward, but not so with sodium. That's another thing. I have to give up refined sugar because of my high triglyceride level. It's hard, but so far I haven't had anything sweet since last Thursday after my doctor's appointment. He doesn't want me to drink diet drinks either because of the artificial sweeteners in them. Well, I can't give up everything. It was pretty depressing at first, but I'm beginning to get used to it. I just have to be really careful what I eat from now on and I'm learning to read food labels more. My cardiologist is very matter of fact about these things. In his mind, it's very simple what you have to do, so do it. No excuses, no whining, etc. It was after that that I realized that I have to do it.

The other thing is that I have an appointment with a different periodontist next week. After the depressing appointment I had with one last year, I just couldn't deal with it. I put it off as long as possible. It turns out that I have periodontal disease and the periodontist from last year wanted to do major surgery and peel back my gums and clean deep down inside. I recoiled in horror at the description of such a thing. I was in her office for 3 hours. I was really overwhelmed after that and depressed for several days. So, my coping mechanism was to forget about it, put it on the back burner and not think about it right then. Well, now it's almost a year later and now I'm going to have to face it and figure something out. I would love to just call them up and cancel that appointment, but the front tooth that is affected right now is not loose, but it's looser than the other ones. Even now I don't know if it can be saved. I hope so. If it can I guess I'll do whatever needs to be done to save it. It wouldn't be so bad if the problem were not in the very front of my mouth. I have to work with the public for another 8 years at least before I can retire and I refuse to do it with one tooth missing in the front. The thing that bothers me is that I'm so afraid that I'm going to get sick after the anesthesia, especially if they put me to sleep and I'm not ging to have something like that done without being out of it to some degree. I don't want to know anything about it until it's all over with. I just have a pattern of getting sick after anesthesia. Well, maybe I shoudl just get overit and have it done. I have even done some research on the Internet and one person bought a Water Pic in lieu of having the surgery. He said the periodontists don't tell you that after you have the deep cleaning (gums peeled back, etc.) that your gums recede and never go back to where they were before. I don't know about that. It's just all so overwhelming. I'm going to go and at least see what the new periodontist says my options are.

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